


Fake Reality

by Mercy_Rhyne



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Angst, That's all I can say right now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-12 10:09:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13545153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Rhyne/pseuds/Mercy_Rhyne
Summary: On the outside, there’s nothing wrong with Roman. But even though he acts like his usual self, the prince is struggling with more problems than he can handle. He needs a way out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Self-loathing, but I think that’s it

Roman wasn’t happy. Yes, he pretended to be his energetic, excited self, but he wasn’t happy. When he wasn’t around the other Sides, he usually sat in his own room. On his bed, or his couch, mulling over everything he did. Everything he needed to change, or stop doing. Everything hedid wrong. And secretly, he hoped that someone would come in. He hoped someone would enter his room and see that something was wrong. They would run towards him and ask him what was going on. He could explain everything that had been plaguing his mind and together, they could work it out. But it never happened and Roman knew this was just a futile fantasy. Just like everything in his life. 

When he was on screen, Roman never showed any signs of his internal struggle. He didn’t want the others to worry about him. He didn’t want _anyone_ to worry about him. But as time passed, it became more and more difficult to keep up this cheerful façade. Every conversation, every video reminded him of everything he had done. And it stung.

  


One time, the Sides were shooting a video with Thomas. Nothing major, just a simple video. It was all going so well, until Virgil made one short, seemingly harmless comment. 

The sides had been talking about mistakes. About making them and growing from them, realising you’ve made a mistake and doing everything to prevent yourself from making a mistake like that again. The whole subject made Roman uncomfortable already. He knew he made mistakes, quite a lot of them, even. And though most of these mistakes were just small things that hardly anyone cared about, there was one thing that always haunted the creative side. It was the fact that he had mistreated Virgil for so long. The fact that he hadn’t even given the other a chance to prove himself, to show who he really was. Roman knew he couldn’t forgive himself for that just yet, even though Virgil never seemed to bring it up. Whether is was because _he_ wasn’t comfortable with it, or because he had already moved on, Roman didn’t know. But he knew that he himself could not move on from it. Not now. 

“We all make mistakes,” Roman said after Patton had just finished talking – admittedly, Roman had missed half of it, because his mind had wandered off, but he had one idea of what to say. “But that is merely human. It doesn’t really matter. What matters, is how we deal with those mistakes. If we choose to learn from them or not, and how we change our behaviour to prevent making the same mistakes over and over.” 

Yes, maybe Roman said this to try to make himself feel better about himself. Because after all, he did try to change. He did everything he could to make sure he wouldn’t hurt Virgil again. And that was what mattered, right? He made a mistake, but he saw what happened and tried to make up for it as much as he could. That was the most important thing, right? So that would mean that recognising this would make him feel better about himself, wouldn’t it? 

Well, he was wrong. It didn’t make him feel better. It was just a failed attempt at flattering himself and praising himself for his effort. But it failed. He didn’t feel better at all. 

“And you would know, wouldn’t you?” Virgil asked with a smirk as he turned to the prince next to him. 

There it was. It was a comment Roman had been expecting from the start of this discussion. He had been waiting for it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. No matter what he tried, it would haunt him everywhere, even when he hoped the worst of it would be over. But did this imply that Virgil wasn’t over it yet? 

Immediately after this question popped up in the royal’s mind, he scolded himself. Of course Virgil wasn’t over it. It had only been seven months, surely it wouldn’t take him that little time to forget about _everything_ Roman had done to him. 

The prince raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to defend himself, but Virgil interrupted him with a soft chuckle. 

“Relax, I’m just messing with you, Zuko,” Virgil responded. Roman nodded and closed his mouth, but he didn’t respond. How could he respond in a situation like this? So he just smiled and waited for someone else to talk. And the first opportunity he got, he sank out. 

Back in his own room, Roman fell down on his couch, pressing his face into one of his many pillows. He hated himself for what he had done to Virgil and he hated the fact that it haunted him, no matter what he did. He tried to remember himself that he didn’t do it anymore, that he was a better person – or side, in his case – than before. He even tried to tell himself that the fact that it hurt him, meant he had grown. But it didn’t help him. He still felt horrible about everything. It kept haunting him, no matter what. He couldn’t escape it. Not here. 

And that was when he got an idea. If he couldn’t escape it here, maybe he could go somewhere else to forget about his troubles. If he couldn’t do it here, maybe he could go to the dreamscape. Maybe there, he could finally get rid of his problems.

Roman got up, feeling a wave of new energy running through his veins. It was as if he felt livelier when he came up with this new idea. Hopeful. It might actually work! The dreamscape was a gorgeous place, with nearly anything Roman could ever wish. It obeyed to his will and was shaped after his own vision. He could create anything he wanted and he could make anything happen. He could destroy the mindscape, only to build it up again, exactly the way it was before. It was connected to him. A visit to the dreamscape had never ended badly for the prince. It was a perfect plan! 

So, there was only one thing left to do. Time for him to venture into the dreamscape. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Tbh, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but it is necessary. I hope you'll enjoy this anyways (:

As soon as the prince had left his room, appearing in the vast dreamscape, he already felt better. Just looking at his surroundings helped him forget about his troubling thoughts. Roman took a breath, taking in the sights around him. He was stood in the middle of a vast forest, with trees that seemed to go on forever. Just a tiny bit of sunlight broke through the thick canopy of leaves, illuminating a path in front of the royal. Roman always loved the forest. It was so simple to get lost in, just admiring the sheer beauty of nature, yet the prince always found his way out. The woods were filled with all kinds of creatures; foxes, deer, birds of all kinds. Everything you could think of. Sometimes, Roman would sit down in the shadows of the trees and wait for the animals to come up to him, simply so he could enjoy their company. But not today. Today, the regal side took a deep breath and followed the path that would lead him to the village near the forest. It was a small village, inhabited by less than one hundred people, which was exactly what Roman liked about it. Of course, Roman was the prince of this mindscape – the only reason that he hadn’t crowned himself a king yet was the fact that he wouldn’t be able to be present all the time, so he had created a king who could rule the kingdom at all times. And in this village, far away from the royal castle, Roman was nearly anonymous. The royal family hardly came down to these regions, so Roman could safely travel here without being noticed. Of course, he could influence the people to do anything he wanted, make them forget about the prince if he wanted to, but he tried not to do that too much. Even though he knew they were fake, the people in the dream realm felt so _real_ , it would be wrong to manipulate them like that. So he usually let everything go the way it wanted to go. That was for the best.

Roman reached the edge of the forest and he stopped for a while, looking at the village in front of him. He visited this so often, it was practically a second home to him. He knew almost everyone there and they knew him. It was familiar and comforting. He trusted these people in a way he wouldn’t trust the other sides. Maybe it was because he knew they were parts of his imagination, but he trusted them _more_ than he would ever trust the others.

Roman was actually about to turn around and walk back into the forest, to explore the surroundings a bit more, or maybe to walk to a gorgeous lake he knew was nearby, but a voice stopped him. 

“Roman, wait!” A young man with hair darker than the night ran up to the prince. Roman turned towards the source of the sound and smiled as he saw who approached him. Jaxon Rivers, someone the royal would call his friend – if you could even say that about your own creations, because in a way, that’s what Jaxon was. 

“Jax!” Roman smiled as the other man caught up with him. In reality, Jaxon had been created just a few years ago, but in the dreamscape, he was only a few weeks younger than the creative side. 

“What’s going on? You’re never here around this time of day,” Jaxon questioned, “and I thought it was going to storm soon, I had never seen a sky that dark and threatening before. But then… it suddenly cleared up, in a matter of seconds. Like nothing had happened. I knew it was you! So… what’s going on?”

“I just needed a distraction,” Roman admitted. “Things have been hard on me lately and I just… I needed to distract myself somehow.”

“So you came here?”

“What else is there for me to do?” Jaxon was one of the few inhabitants of the dream world who knew about the mindscape. Roman was reluctant to tell him, but eventually, the two of them spent so much time together that he couldn’t keep it a secret. Roman had never meant for this to happen, but he had grown attached to the boy, and Jaxon kept questioning why he disappeared for hours, sometimes even days without telling them when he would return. And so, he had no other choice. Of course, Roman could have lied, but he knew Jaxon would know. He was connected to Roman, even if it was only vaguely. Lying wasn’t an option.

“I guess,” Jaxon shrugged. “But what did you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” the prince admitted with a sigh. “I think I just hoped that there would be something here to distract me. I might explore the surroundings a bit? I honestly don’t know. My plan was to go here to see if it would make me feel better. I didn’t think past that.”

“Well, you always love nature,” the man tried, “so you could go into the woods? That could help you? Or, like you said, you can explore. You just need to find something to take your mind off of whatever is bothering you. And if you want to talk…”

“I appreciate the offer, Jax, but I’ve never been good at talking,” the royal said. “I think I’ll just try distracting myself.”

“If that’s what you think will work,” Jaxon said, taking a few steps back. “You do whatever works for you. And if it doesn’t work, you know where to find me, right?”

“Of course,” Roman smiled at his friend. “You’ll be the first I think of.”

“Good,” Jaxon nodded, “I will go now, but you are welcome to visit me in the village if you want to.”

“I will,” Roman said, before he turned his back, “thank you, Jax.”

“Roman!” Jaxon called suddenly, remembering something.

“Yeah?”

“Marion is by the lake,” the younger man said. “So you could also talk to her if you need someone.”

“I will remember that,” Roman nodded with a thankful smile. “Thank you.”

After this brief interaction, Roman decided to head into the forest. He had always loved the forest and he hoped that walking around in these woods would give him the peace of mind he so desired. To be fair, just talking to Jaxon – someone he knew would never abandon him – already helped him so much. But it wasn’t nearly enough. He needed something else, something more, but he had no idea what this something was. Roman just aimlessly wandered through the woods, admiring the nature around him. Every once in a while, a deer or a rabbit would run by, making the prince smile at the place where he had seen the animal. And sure, it made him smile, it made him forget about most of his troubles, but it still wasn’t enough. 

That’s why Roman decided to walk towards the lake, hoping Marion would still be there. 

Marion was Jaxon’s younger twin sister. She was similar to her brother, both in appearance and in character. She, too, was one of the few people who knew about the mindscape outside of their own world. It was never Roman’s intention, as the two hadn’t been close enough for Roman to trust her with this information, but she happened to be around when he was discussing the issue with Jaxon, and this led to questions. Neither of the two men could find a good excuse, so Roman decided to tell her everything as well. After that, Marion and Roman had grown much closer than before. Sharing this secret information that no one else could know had formed a bond between the two that nothing else could create. 

When Roman reached the lake, he could see a figure sitting in front of him with her back turned towards him.

“Marion,” Roman called when he walked up to the girl, who looked up as soon as she heard the voice. She smiled as soon as her eyes met the royal’s. Marion waved at Roman as he approached, not getting up from her spot on the ground. 

“Ro,” she beamed up at him, “what are you doing here at this time of day?”

“I just needed to get away from the others,” Roman sighed as he sat down next to the girl. “Get away from my troubles.”

“Things haven’t been easy on you?”

“Not exactly.”

“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Marion looked up at the man next to her, who was staring into the distance. 

“I… I think that would be good,” he sighed, finally looking down. “But I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, I do,” Marion smiled. “Just tell me what’s bothering you. Tell me what happened.”

“Well…” Roman took a few deep breaths before he finally continued: “we were recording a video and… we had this thing about… about making mistakes and learning from them. And all of it reminded me of what I did in the past and then Virgil made a comment – I told you about Virgil, right?”

“You did.”

“Good. Well, he commented on something I said, referring to me being such a jerk to him in the past and I just… he said he didn’t mean anything with it, but it still hurts. I don’t want to be reminded of all of that, you know? I want to leave it behind me and move on, but it seems to haunt me no matter what I do.”

“Can’t you just talk to Virgil about it?” Marion asked. 

“I wish it was that easy, Mari,” the prince said. “I really do, but I can’t just walk up to Virgil like that.”

“Why not?” the woman asked with a confused frown. “I think he would appreciate it. And it would help you too! If you tell him that it’s bothering you so much, maybe the two of you can work something out!”

“I really appreciate your help, Mari, but it’s just… you don’t know him like I do. I’m sure he… he’s not waiting for that.” That was a blatant lie. Roman knew Virgil would appreciate it, but it was just a way to cover up his own cowardice. He was afraid to be that vulnerable, to be that easy to attack. He was scared that Virgil would judge him, that Virgil would think he was an idiot, a coward or a loser, just like _he_ thought. 

“That’s not true, though, is it?” Marion stared at her friend. She saw him tensing up ever so slightly as she asked this question. Roman knew he couldn’t lie to her. She was a creation of his own imagination. 

“It’s not.”

“You know you can’t go on like this,” the girl spoke, voicing the thoughts that ran through Roman’s subconscious. “If you don’t talk about it soon, something bad is going to happen.”

“I know.” Roman sighed. “But can we please…. Talk about something else? Pretend like this isn’t happening?”

“That’s up to you,” Marion said. “If you want to. If you really want to just ditract yourself and forget about it, you can come to the village? Or maybe there’s something else here for you to explore? I’m sure you can come up with something.”

“You’re right,” the prince nodded, ideas forming in his head. “I think I… I think I must go.”

Roman quickly got up, having found new determination. 

“Thank you, Mari,” he looked down at her, smiling fondly. “You really helped me out.”

“No problem, Ro,” Marion replied as the prince slowly moved away from her. “You know you can come to me with any problem you might have.”

“I know.” Roman nodded as he looked around, towards the forest behind him. “Thank you.”

And with those last words, he turned away and went back to the woods.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-loathing, maybe some strong language. Let me know if I missed anything

 Roman remained in the dreamscape for a while after that. He had no idea how long he stayed there, but he knew that by the time he returned to the mindscape, he felt much better. Like all his problems had been forgotten and solved. 

The royal had hoped to get some time for himself, to just sit back and relax, but unfortunately, that wish could not be granted. He had just sat down on his couch, finally content, when someone popped up in his room. 

“Roman, thank goodness, you’re here!” Patton exclaimed immediately, startling the prince. 

“Good evening to you too, Patton,” Roman answered with a soft chuckle. “What… what’s going on?”

“We couldn’t find you after the video ended,” the moral side explained as he sat down on the couch next to the other. “And Thomas had a creative block, he couldn’t do _anything_. We were so worried about you! And then you weren’t in your room and you didn’t show up and Logan said you would be fine but I was so scared you did something stupid and Virgil thought that it was his fault and I thought that-”

“Wow, wow, calm down, Pat! I’m fine, okay? I’m here now.” Roman tried, wrapping an arm around Patton. He immediately felt guilty for his actions. God, he was so selfish. He should have thought of the others. He should have told them he would go to the dreamscape, he should have talked to them, he shouldn’t have been this selfish. He worried the others, he made Virgil feel bad. All of that could have been prevented if he only talked to them about his problems. Maybe Marion was right, maybe he should have talked to Virgil instead of escaping to his mind. But the idea of confronting Virgil on this frightened him so much. He was so scared of losing the other side’s respect. He was so afraid of being vulnerable, of being called weak. He wasn’t weak. He couldn’t be. 

“Roman, kiddo?” Patton’s voice pulled Roman out of his train of thoughts. The prince started as he looked down at the other side, who was frowning at him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am! Don’t worry about me,” Roman quickly lied, faking a smile. “I was merely lost in thought. I should apologize for my absence, though. I had some rather pressing matters to attend to in the dreamscape, I had to leave in a hurry.”

“Really?” the fatherly side asked. “But… if you were here the entire time, how did you know about it?”

“It… it is complicated,” the prince replied, trying to stall for time to come up with an explanation for the plot hole Patton had pointed out. He had hoped the other wouldn’t ask questions, but alas. “You see… the dreamscape and I are connected, in a way. It knows when there’s something wrong with me and I know when there’s something wrong with it. That’s why I was so tense during this past video, I… I _knew_ something was going on in the dreamscape. But do not worry about me, I am practically perfect in every way.”

Patton looked up at Roman, seemingly studying his face for any sign of a lie. Luckily, Roman was a great actor, even in this state. 

“Alright,” he finally nodded, managing a weak smile. “But don’t you scare us like that again, okay? We were really worried about you!”

“Yes, I am sorry about that,” the prince replied, looking down at his one free hand. “I won’t do something like it again, I promise you.”

“Good,” Patton smiled. “You need to talk to Virgil, too. He feels really guilty.”

“I will,” Roman promised, feeling his stomach sink. Patton seemed content with this answer and didn’t respond to it again. After that, the two sides sad there in silence. Patton just enjoyed the company of his friend and the joy of knowing that he had come back unscathed, while Roman was lost in his thoughts. He shouldn’t lie to Patton about this. He should have told him the truth, he should stop avoiding his own feelings like this. Lying to Patton was hard enough, but he knew he couldn’t repeat this same lie to Virgil. It would just feel wrong. Just as Roman started to feel better about himself and his problems, this happened. Only more doubts and troubling thoughts to keep him up at night, he noted bitterly.

After a while, Patton decided he had to leave. He enjoyed Roman’s company, but he still had other things to do, so he couldn’t stay there forever. Before he left, he made sure to remind Roman that he had to talk to Virgil about why he had disappeared. The prince nodded and, again, promised that he would. 

As soon as he was alone again, Roman dropped his façade. As he buried his head in his hands, he wondered why everything had to be so complicated. Why couldn’t everything be easy, just like in the fairy tales? Why did feelings have to complicated everything? He was just starting to feel better when Patton came in. Of course, Patton didn’t intend for this to happen, he didn’t know what Roman _actually_ felt. But this could have been his chance to clear this up, to come clean about his feelings. Why did he have to lie about it? Did he really think that would help him? Or was he just too cowardly to face his true feelings? Now he had gotten himself stuck in this web of lies. He _had_ to go through with this. Patton could not find out he had lied to him, because if he did… he would be hurt. Worried, too. And Roman could not bear the thought. He had to keep this lie up, he realised. 

With a determined huff, the prince got up. He had to talk to Virgil. 

“Virgil?” Roman called when he popped up in the anxious side’s room. As always, he snuck a quick glance at the Nightmare Before Christmas posters on the wall as he waited for the other side to appear. 

“Hey.” The prince flinched as he heard Virgil’s voice, as he did not hear him appear. He tried to mask this as he turned to Virgil with a smile. 

“I think I owe you an explanation,” he said with a sheepish smile. 

“Yes, you do,” Virgil nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Where were you? Why did you leave? Was it something I said? Because if it was, then I-”

“No, no, it wasn’t anything you did,” Roman said quickly. “I had to go to the dreamscape to… attend to some urgent matters.”

“What matters?” 

“It is a long story,” the prince responded, thinking of an answer as quickly as he could. “But two… rivalling villages were… causing mayhem. And someone,” – he gestured to himself – “had to resolve that. I was in a hurry so I could not tell you where I was going. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t you have a king in the dreamscape?” Virgil questioned. “Why couldn’t he go there?”

“Well, you see, he… was busy,” the creative side lied, feeling the anxiety bubbling up in his chest. “He was… abroad! There were some negotiations he had to attend to.”

Virgil nodded, but he still felt like something was wrong. Something did not make sense. He narrowed his eyes and studied the prince, looking for anything that could give something away.

“But how did you know about those villages?” he finally asked. “How did you know you had to go there, if you were with us the entire time?”

“Well,” Roman answered, repeating the lie he had told Patton, “in a way, the dreamscape and I are connected. It knows when there’s something wrong with me and I know when there’s something wrong with it. I had a feeling something was wrong and I had to check it out. And I was right.”

“Alright,” Virgil nodded slowly. He wasn’t sure if Roman was telling the truth or not, but he did not want to dig deeper into it. Either the creative royal had told him the truth, or he made this up to ensure that Virgil wouldn’t get hurt. Which would mean that he _had_ done something wrong. But at least Roman cared enough to cover it up. If that even was a good thing. Did he think Virgil could not handle the truth? Or would it be because he cared so much? 

Finally, Virgil decided that it would be the most comforting thought to himself to believe that Roman had been truthful. So, he nodded and told Roman that he believed him, that it was fine and that he didn’t have to worry about anything. 

The prince answered with a thankful smile before announcing that he would head back to his own room again. He had some things to take care of, he said. Virgil nodded with a smile as Roman sank out.


	4. Chapter 4

 Not much later, Roman found himself craving to return to his dreamscape. The prince had gone back to his room and where he felt good a few hours ago, he quickly felt just as miserable as before, if not more miserable. He knew he had to stay here, to be there for the sides and for Thomas, but all he really wanted, was to go back to the dreamscape, where he could forget about his problems for a while. He knew it wasn’t smart, he knew it wasn’t what he was supposed to do. But what he was supposed to do was _so difficult_. How could he stay here, be around the other sides and do his job if his problems followed him everywhere he went? If they kept taunting him and calling him out? How could _anyone_ keep up with that? 

And he tried, he really tried. But putting up a happy, confident façade just wasn’t enough anymore. It might fool the others, but he could not fool himself anymore. He didn’t believe his own lies anymore. 

For the few days that followed, Roman tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. He acted like his own, usual self; making Disney references wherever he could, stupid nicknames and banter, gay jokes. The first day, Logan asked him about his odd behaviour the day before and Roman quickly dismissed it, telling the logical side what he had told the others. After that day, no one asked him about it anymore. It seemed that they bought his act. And while Roman was relieved to notice, a part of him felt a strange kind of disappointed, as if he had hoped that someone noticed something was wrong and ask him about it. But he quickly pushed this sentiment away and continued his act. 

But after a while, Roman couldn’t take it anymore. He was okay as long as he was with the other sides. He was okay as long as Thomas was asleep, leaving him to wander around in the dreamscape. But he wasn’t okay when he was alone in his room. He wasn’t okay when he was left alone with only his own thoughts. He needed a distraction from everything and there was one thing that could provide him with what he needed. But he knew he couldn’t go back there again. The others would get worried again. 

But on the other hand… 

Who cared if they worried? It was good for Roman, it helped him. And if it made him feel better… wasn’t that more important than worrying about what the others would think? Besides, Thomas was just hanging out with Joan and Talyn; he didn’t need Roman anyways. He would be fine without his creative side for a little while. 

So, after a relatively short time of consideration – meaning that he hardly even thought this plan through – Roman went back to his dreamscape, hoping that this would magically solve all of his problems. In the past few nights, the prince had wandered around, explored new places. Everything to get away from his problems. So when Roman went back into the dream world, he found himself in the middle of a field he had created not too long ago. There were colourful flowers everywhere – in the colours of the gay pride flag. He just couldn’t resist. 

With a content sigh, the creative royal sat down and laid back, hoping to forget about his troubles soon. He wasn’t sure why, but coming here, in this place, always calmed him down a little bit. Maybe it was because it was his own careless imagination, because it was a land of dreams and fantasies, because it was a representation of his own wants and dreams, or because he had created the dreamscape to be like that. But just being there took away most of his worries. If he could, he would live here, Roman decided. He would stay here and never go back. This was everything he wanted; a world where truly anything was possible, a place where he was actually respected, a place where he didn’t have to worry. 

The sun was low in the sky when Roman arrived in the dreamscape, and when he heard someone approaching, seemingly minutes later, the prince noted that the sun had nearly set already. Slightly disoriented, Roman sat up and turned his head in an attempt to see who had dared to interrupt this moment of inner peace. It was the Rivers twins, approaching the royal slowly.

“Roman, there you are!” Marion exclaimed as the two siblings walked towards the prince. “We’ve been looking for you for ages!”

“What? How did you- how did you know I was here?” Roman asked, frowning at his two friends. 

“I don’t know,” Jaxon replied, sitting down next to the royal. “We just got this feeling that you were here. I think, maybe you just wanted us to find you here.”

“Why are you here again?” Marion questioned. She sat down on the other side of Roman, looking at him with a worried gaze he knew all too well. The creative side looked at her for one moment, before averting his eyes and looking at the yellow flowers at his feet. 

“You know why I’m here, don’t you?” He looked up at Jaxon, who refused to meet his eyes, but instead looked at his own sister, the two of them involved in a silent conversation only they could follow. Was Jaxon right? Did he subconsciously want the two siblings to find him? But… how? And why? Why did he want this to happen? Because if Roman could wish for anything right now, it was for him to be alone with his thoughts so he could continue to forget his problems and pretend that he was alright. 

“Roman,” Marion sighed eventually, running a hand through her long, dark hair. “You can’t keep running away from your problems like this.”

“You’re only saying this because I want to hear this,” the prince mumbled, picking a flower as he studied the little yellow thing intently. 

“No,” the girl replied sternly, her voice practically forcing Roman to look up into her eyes. “I _know_ you don’t want to hear this. I am saying this because you _need_ to hear it.”

Roman wanted to argue, but he knew he had nothing he could tell her. Marion probably had a point, but it was just so much easier to deny that anything was wrong. Pretending was his specialty anyways, so why wouldn’t he be able to pull this off? 

“You need to talk to the others, Ro,” Jaxon agreed with his sister. “I know you don’t want to do it, but it’s for the best. You know you can trust them, right?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Roman muttered under his breath as a lame excuse. “You don’t know them like I do.”

“We are a part of your imagination, Roman,” Jaxon reminded his friend. “We are a part of _you_. We might not know everything you do, but we certainly know _something_.”

Roman sighed. How could he argue with someone who was connected to him the way they were? It was futile. They knew nearly anything he knew, how could he counter them?

“I know that,” the prince said as he carefully caressed the little petals of the flower in his hand. “I know it. But…”

“It’s scary,” Marion helped, “is that it?”

“I think so,” Roman nodded. 

“But you know you need to talk to them some day,” Jaxon said, “you can’t continue this forever.”

“I know.”

No one spoke for a while and Roman looked up again, staring at the last rays of sunlight that illuminated the field. He knew they were right. They knew that he knew. He had to talk to the others, but he hated talking about things like this. He hated being vulnerable like this. He didn’t want to talk. No, he just wanted to pretend that everything was okay, until everything would finally be okay for real. But he knew that that would never happen. Not like this.  

“Fine,” the creative prince finally sighed. “I’ll… I’ll try to talk to them. But not now. I need... I need time."


End file.
